Daily Diary – 4/10/18

Why I Write These:

These are written in honor of my grandfather, Leon Milton Buttermore, who has a memory that I am envious of, and I hope that by doing this I am able to be the kind of man who starts to treasure the things given him.

Daily Highlights:

Godly thought of the day:

2 Corinthians 7:10-11 says: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

I wish everyone knew the delight that is repentance and confession, especially when that confession is made public to other believers. Yes, I said delight. We are trained from young ages to enhance our natural strengths, to not show weakness, and to be terse because that’s tough. That’s so false. That’s so anti-Gospel in message. We only gain strength through allowing our weakness to force us to be desperate enough to tap into a source that is strong and gives us strength. We need more of this in our churches. We need people eager to confess and walk in the light with other believers.

It’s spring cleaning time — or close to it. So open up those closets. Throw open the shutters. Let your friends come in, see the disrepair of your house, and help offer insight into how to help order it. You won’t ever regret it. There’s no shame in this Godly sorrow that leads to repentance. I wish more people knew this power.

But I also think that, especially as I have been in a really, really good season lately it’s important to flee even the smallest of sins and treat them with gravity. I’d rather deal with small molehills before they pockmark the entire landscape and leave the entire soil unfertile.

Favorite meeting of the day:

I got to have lunch with Ken Evans and Cole Penick today. Cole and I are inviting Ken to join us for some of our Slim’s lunches! It’s great. He’s an older man and I have no doubt he’ll have wisdom to offer me just like he clearly had wisdom to offer today, but I can also see ways that I actually see the world a bit clearer than he.

This is the exchange of the Gospel that is beautiful. The old mature the young, and the young can help keep the old youthful and energize in their view on the world. They can keep them engaged!

Hardest part of my day:

Just getting excited for my workshop tomorrow. I’m teaching all day and I wasn’t excited about it when I woke up. But I actually think that I’m ready for it now. It took a little bit, but I think I’m ready to present and teach and I’m not too concerned about timelines tomorrow as much anymore. I can’t tell if my lack of excitement was due to this particular thing or reveals a greater heart issue towards my current work. It feels like a distraction, but is it? Is God not offering me opportunities to serve him even as I look towards pastoral work. Just because I think I have a future somewhere does not mean I don’t have a present here. I must keep my mind attentive to the present and take joy in the work my hands can take part in.

Favorite moment of the day:

Sarah. I could probably just say one word and that would be enough. She’s awesome. But today she was showing me Wayne Watson music. I like a lot of the stuff she sends me, but this I was loving! I was really jamming to it. So I started listening to it. And sure enough, after a few songs “For Such a Time As This” comes on and I start thinking, “I’ve heard this! Hey! This is something we listened to when I was really young! Super fun and it made me encouraged. Sarah finds the most innocuous and natural ways to make my days awesome. I’m pretty sure that’s why after our date Friday I’m going to ask her out formally into a relationship. Honestly, I just don’t know what else I could be looking for, you know? Don’t be an idiot Jacob. Take a good thing when the Lord puts it in front of you! Okay, I will.

What was the weather like today?:

I loved the weather! It was cold this morning, which I actually kind of like because I get to bundle up. Then it got really warm in the afternoon, which I also like because it is the afternoon and clothes should be coming off? Anyways, it was really good, really comfortable weather. Spring come quickly! Just don’t bring the bees.

Most unfaithful moment of my day:

I got a second refill of tea at Slim’s today. I didn’t need it and should have left it. I knew I should have, but I wanted it and I took it. Those little indulgences are things I must be careful of.

Also, I’m letting this Jim Butcher book distract me from other reading that I really should be keeping up with. Fantasy books are always a struggle for me to balance. Maybe that’s actually a bigger problem than the drink?

They both need to be watched.

What am I currently reading?:

Daily Bible Reading – 2 Samuel 8-11

Dangerous Calling by Paul Tripp – No reading for this today.

Church History by Eusebius – No reading for this today.

Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave by Ed Welch – No reading for this today.

No Place for Truth: Or Whatever Happened to Evangelical Theology? by David F. Wells – No reading for this today.

On the Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther – No reading for this today.

Princeps Fury by Jim Butcher – This stuff is awesome. Everything is great. Characters are engaging. I don’t know what is going to happen. I’m genuinely excited to read this!

What was for dinner?:

Leftover kielbasa skillet.

Song of the day:

For Such a Time As This by Wayne Watson – How can I not? It was a song that connected me to Sarah and my mom in the same day! Had a funny text with my mom about she heard a Wayne Watson concert in ’91 while pregnant with me. I basically ruined that and Disney World for her.

So, yeah. I did a good job. But I was encouraged because I remember that I always wanted this song to be true of me, but for so long it wasn’t. This was the first time that I’d heard in a looooooong time. And it was true! I do feel like I’m seeking to be holy and put Jesus on display! That was encouraging to see the grasp Jesus has kept on me and saw fit to continue the work in me to where I could see this vivid transformation he’s working!

Quote of the day:

“Oh my gosh, headphones dying is the worst.” — Random girl at the gym

I found this notable because I think she believed it. My heart breaks listening to young people talk today. I don’t know if it was always like this, but their speech is so shallow. It’s so devoid of any meaning. Even the way and intonation of speech emplies some kind of void of something. It breaks my heart when people find headphones going out at the gym an abomination to be lamented.

What are we coming to? Lord, come quickly.

Prayer of the day:

Lord, you’re amazing! You bring the simplest of delights through your daughters in Christ, whether relationships interests, mothers, or just sisters in Christ generally. Lord, thank you that you reveal yourself even in both genders. Let me not be a conceited male who doesn’t find dignity and worth in what you have created. Lord, thank you for older men who can offer perspective and share their stories of your glory. Lord, thank you that I got to teach this morning. You give so much. Thank you for opportunities to teach marketing, tell people what I do, maybe get more clients, and get paid all in a day! How can that be a thing I dread? Lord, you are unquestionably, unflinchingly good. Help my heart to never grow weary of giving thanks in all circumstances, for this is your will for me in Christ Jesus.      

Amen.

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