Daily Diary – 5/15/18

Why I Write These:

These are written in honor of my grandfather, Leon Milton Buttermore, who has a memory that I am envious of, and I hope that by doing this I am able to be the kind of man who starts to treasure the things given him.

Daily Highlights:

Godly thought of the day:

Ephesians 2:10 says: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Been a long, tiring day. God created me for good works. That is my life’s work. I need to refocus upon this. I’ve just felt out of sync the last few weeks. I’ve just felt odd. I can’t explain it. I kind of understand it, but it’s also just been a weird few weeks and I’m not feeling in sync with things around me for some reason.

But I need to make sure I’m looking and keeping my spiritual sight. I’m not doing a great job of that, but I need to keep persevering.

Favorite meeting of the day:

Had fun with Cole Penick getting breakfast at Farmer’s Table. Apparently vegetarian gravy is a good thing! Would have nver known.

Hardest part of my day:

Had a lot of men miss Tuesday morning today. There were only 4 of us, and that may be how it goes a lot of this summer. Always tough when the summer seems to bring with it a loss of momentum.

Favorite moment of the day:

But the favorite moment was right after that. We 4 prayed for probably close to 35 minutes together for the group and for holiness and sanctification.

What was the weather like today?:

Rainy this morning and then sunshine later.

Most unfaithful moment of my day:

I masturbated again today. It’s been the roughest week I’ve had in quite some time. I have no excuse. I wanted to. I wanted to sin. And I did. I’m incredibly grieved by that. I really need to get back in step. I just haven’t felt in step for a bit here. I’ve felt out of sync for a bit over a week now. But if I don’t start moving back towards self-control, steadfastness, godliness, etc. I will lose my spiritual sight and become less productive. If I don’t watch my life and doctrine closely, it will effect others.

I need to buckle down and get into the Gospel. Whatever is wrong in my heart, I need some help. I was going so strong for a long time, so this is frustrating. Yet I realize it just is my own heart manifesting the evil in it.

I know my response needs to be to take my prayer life and thoughts off of myself and immerse myself in serving and loving others in Christ’s name. That’s where I’ll be safest. I started by taking Bev Loos out to dinner tonight to say thanks and paid for her and listened to her for a while. That was good. It’s just the tip of the iceberg, but I can’t slip back into old habits like this. It’s killing me. That’s what sin does. I’ve already been lax enough with my week. I need to look to my Savior now. I need rescued from my apathy and lethargy that has been in my spirit the past weekish. But I must seek this Savior and trust that as I seek him, he’ll find me.

What am I currently reading?:

Daily Bible Reading – 1 Chronicles 26 & 27

Church History by Eusebius – No reading for this today.

Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave by Ed Welch – No reading for this today.

No Place for Truth: Or Whatever Happened to Evangelical Theology? by David F. Wells – Will read some of this before bed.

On the Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther – No reading for this today.

Holiness by J.C. Ryle – No reading for this today.

What was for dinner?:

The biggest meatball you’ve ever seen at Olive Garden with Bev Loos

Song of the day:

I Need Thee by Jadon Ladvik – Pretty self-explanatory.

Quote of the day:

“” —

Nothing sticks out today.

Prayer of the day:

God, save me. I need it. Forgive me, Father, for my return to sin. I have no excuse. Yet I am still alive. There is hope. Save me from my guilt, oh Lord, and I will teach transgressors your way and sinners will turn back to you.

Amen.

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