Daily Diary – 5/16/18

Why I Write These:

These are written in honor of my grandfather, Leon Milton Buttermore, who has a memory that I am envious of, and I hope that by doing this I am able to be the kind of man who starts to treasure the things given him.

Daily Highlights:

Godly thought of the day:

2 Peter 1:5-7 says: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”

I was thinking about what I need to do to get my head out of the gutter and get back on track. It’s been an apathetic few weeks for me, and I can’t let that continue. This chapter has always offered a lot to me in that regard.

What stuck out to me was how each thing is not a unique element but flows out of the thing in front of it. For example, self-control is knowledge applied practically into one’s life. Out of practiced self-control, perseverance grows. And the fruit of perseverance is godliness.

That’s where I want to get. So while I do need to repent, I also need to return to truth. But I also must vigilantly hunt out ways to apply this truth into self-controlled ways of life. If I don’t, then all the knowledge in the world is vanity and godliness is nothing I will ever come close to me. But even in the past week, I’ve felt that caring about others is already harder. But this is no surprise because the outpouring of the seed of godliness growing in one’s life is mutual affection and mutual affection when outpoured gives way to love for God himself. I have no excuses. Time to get on the pony and start riding. Joy is something that is practiced and sought as much as it is just experienced and I have to trust that if I seek out after God in faithfulness, God will come for me and bring to me all these things he has promised and make me fruitful and productive.

Favorite meeting of the day:

No real meetings today that stuck out.

Hardest part of my day:

About 9AM I just wanted to return to my bed. I remember feeling that my eyes were so heavy and my brain was having a hard time even really getting thoughts clearly out. Like I said, I have been apathetic a lot lately. I just want to sleep a lot and anything work related is something I’m dragging my feet towards. Which is a thought and lie from the Devil.

Favorite moment of the day:

My quiet time. Today wasn’t that exciting and I had low energy. Reading God’s word was the only real rest I felt I had today.

What was the weather like today?:

Very, very rainy. I did enjoy watching the storm a bit.

Most unfaithful moment of my day:

I had a chance to say some things to one of my clients about God more than I did. I honestly wasn’t sure what to say. My tongue got twisted up and it made me regret being out of sorts because it was exactly what 2 Peter talks about. I was ineffective. I was trying to speak up, but in the moment wasn’t sure what the right thing was to say. Afterwards, as I thought about it, there were some things that were both non-combative but glorifying I could have said. I hate that I didn’t say them and it makes me hate my sin all the more that it robbed me of a chance to speak out more faithfully. I need to remember this. Sin always bears consequence in our lives.

What am I currently reading?:

Daily Bible Reading – 1 Chronicles 28 & 29

Church History by Eusebius – No reading for this today.

Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave by Ed Welch – No reading for this today.

No Place for Truth: Or Whatever Happened to Evangelical Theology? by David F. Wells – He’s been discussing the importance of giving credit and credibility to the historical narrative of the Bible, particularly the Old Testament. God’s revelation is not a subjective feeling, but an objective reality. This is contrary to anything else because while all other Religions must be interpreted by how you feel, Christianity can be measured by external truth that we can have confidence in. And because the confidence of the Bible is brought to bear in historical fact, we actually see a God revealed who we confidently see consistently play out in our experience. So rather than measure truth by the intuition of our experiences, Christians are able to understand experience through the intuitive truth of God’s revelation. That’s a subtle but significant and life-giving shift for the Christian! We don’t have to guess. Every other religion is, at the end of the day, guessing. They’re hoping. We also hope, sure. But we hope expectantly because we have a historical legacy of consistent movement by God to point towards and say, “See! There he was and there again and once more there! And through this, I have confidence of what my experience will be even though I do not always feel so confident in it in a given moment.”

That’s a beautiful thought.

On the Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther – No reading for this today.

Holiness by J.C. Ryle – No reading for this today.

What was for dinner?:

Leftovers from the fridge.

Song of the day:

Man of Sorrows by Shane and Shane – The part about the man of sorrows being betrayed his own made me realize that this is continually what Jesus feels by his people. Our best actions still yet are tainted by sin and continually betray him. Yet he continually is found interceding for us.

Just let that soak in for a moment. One who is continually betrayed by our actions is continually defending us. This isn’t normal and it breaks my heart in the right ways.

Quote of the day:

“Pulling out your phone is the new digital yawn.” — Daniel Watkins

Daniel was quoting the Reinke book, but it was a good catch. I think it is very true that we use our devices when we get bored. We don’t know how to be bored anymore. I think it’s worth learning how to use some idle time well.

Prayer of the day:

Lord, thank you for interceding for me even though nothing in me has ever been found really warranting or worthy of that action. Jesus, merciful Savior, do not give up on me just yet. I’m coming, Lord. Come find me as I grope towards you. Thank you for the grace that it is to look on your historical faithfulness and know that I can count on you to show up and deliver me. And when you do, Lord, help my mouth to be opened so that sinners my be taught about you and turn to you.

Amen.

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