Why I Write These:
These are written in honor of my grandfather, Leon Milton Buttermore, who has a memory that I am envious of, and I hope that by doing this I am able to be the kind of man who starts to treasure the things given him.
Godly thought of the day:
Genesis 32:24-26 says: “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.””
Sometimes we need to wrestle with God. We need to know that we are desperate for blessing and we just won’t let go even after everything has stopped making sense awhile back. We must also realize that the one who we are “holding” can break our hip with a touch and that we are overpowered.
But more than anything, I think part of the process of wrestling is just to wrestle. It’s not so much about any specific outcome. It’s just good to wrestle. It’s okay to look at God and just not be sure for a moment and to just grapple with him. I don’t think God minds this and though we may wrestle through a long night with no clear sign of victory, we should wrestle for at the end of it we can be confident that we are wrestling with one who can bless us.
This has been helpful for me this week. The sermon last week really pushed me to a place where I just felt that I needed to wrestle with God and question things and I struggled. It was exactly what I needed and has been a catalyst for a much better week than I’ve had recently.
Favorite meeting of the day:
No meetings today.
Hardest part of my day:
Just waking up. Man, I’ve just not felt like myself in the mornings recently. But I did eventually get up and get going.
Favorite moment of the day:
Listening to the high schoolers go around and give thier insights. You never know how much fruit a thought will bear, but I was encouraged that these kids are learning to think and are being exposed to good ideas. They’re figuring out some things that are so helpful to think about. I’m thankful for Guy’s leadership in this.
What was the weather like today?:
Quite nice, although I was hardly out in it. But this evening was gorgeous. Would have been a nice night for an evening walk.
Most unfaithful moment of my day:
I just struggled to pray this morning. At some point I was moving and I realized that in my sluggishness, I had not stopped to really pray. That bugged me a lot.
What am I currently reading?:
Daily Bible Reading – Job 5-7
Church History by Eusebius – No reading for this today.
On the Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther – No reading for this today.
Holiness by J.C. Ryle – No reading for this today.
Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper – Read chapter 2 today. A pretty basic Piper book. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. This is the foundation of Piper’s ministry and he explained how he got there.
Particularly powerful was the explanation that making life about mankind is like taking someone to the Alps and then putting them in a room full of mirrors. It does not enhance beauty. It robs it, distracts from it, and ultimately empties life of the most beautiful things.
Also, the violent nature of what it means to be delighted in God. It is counterculural and not easy. It’s easy to say things about God. But to actually be delighted in God is to allow oneself to be rescued out of the fire. Firemen do not have as much time or opportunity to be gentle because they are busy saving you from the fire. So this life will be jarring. It will be disorienting. But that’s alright and we should embrace the violent nature with which we war against the flesh.
Perelandra by C.S. Lewis – Starting book 2 today.
What was for dinner?:
A few slices of pizza. Didn’t eat much else today, but the Martin boys bring pizza to youth. So that’s nice.
Song of the day:
Holy, Holy, Holy by Norton Hall Band – Kind of picking this because I played the piano at church for a bit today. I need to do this more. I want to get back into this somewhat. I may start picking up a hymnal or something more often and playing a few times a week at church. I can get in literally anytime I want, so I don’t necessarily need to own a piano to play one. It’s a beautiful instrument and I wish I played a bit better like I used to be able to. I don’t need to be great, but I’d like to get some of it back.
Quote of the day:
“Your ears were made to enjoy music. Two notes can go together and be beautiful but if you drop one note even a little bit, it sounds terrible.” — Guy Wilcox
Guy always has interesting things to say and I appreciate his insights. He was commenting on how our ears are designed for music and how we should not only enjoy sounds, but ultimately glorify the one who designed them to receive sounds in such a specific and ordered way. Amazing thought! We know bad sounds when we hear them. We know good sounds when we hear them. Someone made us that way.
Prayer of the day:
Lord, let me be satisfied in you. Help me to commune with you regularly. Keep it feeling odd if I am not talking to you diligently and consistently. May I always feel wrong when you are not the foremost thought that guides my entire being. Thank you for designing me. May I not just hear, see, or taste beauty, but may I also give thanks to the one who designed beauty to be experienced so that we’d have opportunity to know just a sliver of your majesty.