A Note On My Daily Journals:
I am going to be making my daily journals password protected from now on. I have debated this for close to a week now as I’ve contemplated what changes need to be made. There are a number of factors involved in this.
One, I am, or at least attempt to be, very raw and fully transparent.
Two, like many men my age and indeed men at all times, lust and sexual immorality is something that has deeply wounded my soul and I am grateful that I am not in the same place I once was with this, but I also know that it will be something I will continue to fight going forward.
Three, the reason this is a problem is the things I am involved in. Particularly working with, say, youth at my church. It may well be that children are learning about topics in ways and times that their parents did not intend to. I am sure that God can work for good in those kind of situations, but that’s not the same thing as me trying to honor the rights of parents to bring up things in their due course with their own children. Additionally, it was thought that perhaps writing about struggles with some sexual immorality could lead some people to think that I struggle with lust all day, every day. They may not understand the plight of a young man who has had a supercomputer put in his hands and told to be mature about it. Maturity is often one of the last things we employ with our smartphones. So instead of making me more empathetic, it may actually cast me in shades and shadows that are not true and cause more division than unity.
Four, I contemplated writing more ambiguously about things especially related to sexual immorality and wondered if I could still leave this an open format. But I felt that betrayed what I hoped in two ways. One, this journal is not finally for anyone else other than myself, and perhaps my family whom I hope to stay more closely connected to by it. But largely, it is to help me meditate on what the Lord is doing and force myself to be still, think, apply, and remember. If I write ambiguously, I defeat that purpose. Secondly, if I wrote ambiguously, there’s actually more room for someone to misunderstand what I’m going through, why, and what it meant in practical language and nature. For example, if I were to write very Biblically grounded languge like, “Today I struggled with lust and was tempted towards sexual immorality.” What will someone read in that? Someone who knows the experiences that I have gone through may well know that language is actually means I’ve had a relatively good day in dealing with my sin. But someone who does not have similar experience may see that and think, “What adultery has this young man committed today?” It gets confusing quickly depending on the eyeballs looking at it.
So what does this mean for all of you who may actually read this thing? First of all, I will say that you were never the intended audience of this. The only “audience” I ever hoped to get was my Lord and Savior as well as that of my immediate family with whom distance is a great factor in keeping up sometimes. That being acknowledge, I am encouraged that, just every so often, someone stumbles on this and seems to be encouraged by that. If I can be a source of encuragement, I want to be!
So these posts are password protected. If you enjoy reading these, I just want to have some level of control over who is reading them. Particularly with an emphasis on not letting younger children who are still in the close care of their parents misunderstand this. If you would like to read these, all you have to do is email me and I will send you the password for the pages. That way I can continue to write in a way that is faithful and honoring to my God, but also encourage anyone who may find these a good thing to follow along with.
One final note is that I will not be password protecting my long-form posts. So if you want to read those at any point, you are more than welcome to do so. Those are a bit less personal and I think any age could appropriately read any of them. At least, that is my hope.
Thanks for reading this. I do not know if I’ve thought through this perfectly, but wanted to let anyone who actually follows this have some knowledge of what I’m doing and I believe I’m being faithful in pursuing this course of action. So starting with my journal tonight, that will be the process going forwards.
Thank you for anyone who does read these. I pray the grace and peace of God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ is promoted within your heart by any who may ever read my poor attempts to express the spiritual pilgrimage I am on in this world.